||[Nov. 9th, 2004|02:38 am]
|||||Westlife - World of our own (on radio)||]|
I hate cliffhangers like the girl next door, so I give you
1. Brian's fate (00:30-01:48)
Brian, entering his office, followed by Cynthia. He tells her to book him some good resort at the Bahamas - purely for business of course, the Liberty Air deal, if you remember. Ryder comes in and cancels Brian's trip. He's sending someone else and wants Brian to go home instead.
Ryder: "This is just until this whole harassment thing is over."
Brian: "Whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'?"
Ryder: "Look, the Liberty Air folks are conservative. What would they think if they found out that their account exec was involved in a gay sex scandal?"
Brian: "You mean, they wouldn't mind a straight one?"
Ryder: "I've also spoken with Legal. You're going to be seeing a rep from Human Resources; and there's going to be outside investigation, followed by a tribunal with an impartial mediator."
Brian: "When's the hanging?"
Ryder: "If I were you, I'd get myself a good lawyer."
Oh, Brian. So not good.
2. Ted misses his buddy (01:48-02:56)
Brian, Michael and Ted at the dinner. Brian's annoyed. Of course, Michael knew all along: I told you not to fuck him. Well, okay, he did. And what kind of advise does Michael offer now? Let's go to the gym, you'll feel better after you work out. Eh? Anyway, Brian and Michael get up to leave, but Ted doesn't want to join them. He misses his work out buddy aka Emmett. He also doesn't want to go to Woody's later, because he misses his beer buddy aka Emmett.
Ted: "Woody's isn't the same without my beer buddy there, pointing out all the cute guys and spilling drinks all over me."
Brian: "We'll spill drinks all over you."
However, both and Michael and Brian (yes, Brian) try to cheer Ted up and tell him Emmett will be back to his old self, soon. And we all hope they're right.
3. Meeting the lawyer (08:14-10:03)
Brian followed Ryder's idea and got himself a lawyer - Melanie, of all people. Mel snarks about it how he could ask her after always treating her like shit and destroying her relationship (what the fuck ever), however, she and Brian meet for lunch to discuss the case.
Mel: "Alright. Just for laughs, give me your version of the story."
Brian: "He wanted it, I gave it to him."
Mel: "Like I asked for: short but sweet."
Brian: "It wasn't that short."
Mel: "And where did this act of selfless generosity take place?"
Brian: "In my office and in my loft."
Mel: "So he couldn't have minded too much if he came back for more. Go on."
Brian: "Then he asked me to help get a promotion."
Mel: "What did you tell him?"
Brian: "I told him he wasn't ready."
Mel: "How did he take it?"
Brian: "How do you think? He felt, because we're both gay, and we'd fucked, that somehow he was entitled to a free ride. I didn't agree."
Mel: "How many tricks do you have a month?"
Brian: "Twenty, thirty."
Mel: "Jesus, what a life."
Brian: "What does the number of guys I do have to do with it?"
Mel: "Well, for once the fact that you screw anything that moves is your finest quality and your best defense. You didn't have to abuse your position at work in order to get laid."
Brian: "The Fuck Defense?"
Mel: "We've got to prove that when this kid didn't get what he wanted, he decided to use law and order to get even."
Brian: "Then you'll take the case?"
Mel: "Look, not that I give a shit about saving your ass, but it might be amusing to have you indebted to me for the rest of your life."
4. I would do something if I could! (10:03-12:55)
The Novotny house. Debbie and Vic fold some laundry when 'The Hustle' is on the radio. They start singing and dancing along while poor Justin has a hard time concentrating on his homework: Do you mind? At the same time, he's fighting to hold back a grin.
Michael: "What are they doing?"
Justin: "Reliving their youth?"
And Michael joins the mad dancing. Justin can't believe it: You people are sooo weird. Deb, Michael and Vic dance a bit more and tease each other until Deb mentions Brian. Michael tells her to leave Brian out of it, he's got enough shit to deal with. And that's enough to make Justin forget about his homework completely.
Justin: "What kind of shit?"
Michael: "Some guy from work is suing him for sexual harassment. It's really serious. He could loose everything."
Debbie: "I knew someday he'd stick his dick where it didn't belong."
Justin: "Well, we gotta do something."
Debbie: "Sunshine, there isn't anything you can do."
Vic: "I'm afraid Brian's fucked the last person he shouldn't have - himself."
Debbie: "I'm sorry, honey."
Justin: "You're his best friend. You should do something. I would do something if I could!"
Michael: "Just mind your own business."
And with that, topic closed. Justin's got a 'wtf' look on his face, but Michael's not even paying attention. He calls David to cancel their plans for the night, saying he has to take care of his sick mother. Well, we just saw Debbie isn't sick, so eh? Here's why: David told Michael to stay out of Brian's mess and away from Brian. He more or less forbid him to take care of his best friend in these times. WTF, David. *rolls eyes*
5. Visitor at work (12:55-14:04)
Brian's office, a knock at the door: it's Kip. WTF (I'm realize I'm using WTF a lot this episode, but hey, really).
Brian: "Fuck you."
Kip "Look, I just want you to know that I'm really sorry about this."
Brian: "Really? That makes me feel a lot better."
Kip: "I had no choice. If I didn't do what you wanted, you would have fired me."
Brian: "No, you just tried to get ahead by giving head. Which, by the way, you're not very good at."
Kip: "We obviously remember things very differently."
Brian: "Yeah! I remember what happened!"
Kip: "If I could propose something. I'd be more than willing to forget the whole thing if you say you're sorry and reconsider me for that position." WTF??? Oooops, again, sorry.
Brian: "You know, you have a real talent for propositions."
Kip: "Would you mind not standing so close?"
Brian: "Why, you worried something might happen?"
Brian grabs Kip and shoves him against his desk.
"Like I might use my position of power to take advantage of your tight little asshole?"
Brian: "Get out of my office."
6. Food always helps (16:16-18:48)
Michael arrives at the loft, arms full of junk food.
Michael: "I thought you might be a little hungry."
Brian: "A little? Do you know what we'd turn into if we ate all that?"
Michael: "A couple of fat, flabby fags that nobody would wanna fuck, ever?"
Brian: "Ah. Let's dig in."
So Brian and Michael have a feast and talk a bit about old high school times until Michael finds Brian's reality checklist. Brian's thinking of simplefying his life. Uh huh.
Michael: "Clothes... yeah, you could certainly take money out of clothes. Cosmetics?"
Brian: "Yeah, the French anti-aging shit costs a hundred dollars a tube, and... I still don't look nineteen."
Michael: "Going out?"
Brian: "Yeah. I figured I could probably survive hitting the clubs five times a week instead of six."
Michael: "I don't know, that is a pretty big sacrifice. Loft???"
Brian: "Yeah, well, what do I need this big expensive place for anyway."
Michael: "This is your home! Maybe it won't come to that."
Brian: "Well, if it does, I'll just get a rich sugar daddy like the Doc."
Michael: "He's not my sugar daddy. If I'm not careful, he might not even be my boyfriend."
Brian: "Trouble in paradise?"
Michael: "He doesn't know I'm here."
Brian: "You're lying to him already? What is he afraid of, I'll steal you away from him?"
Michael: "Last chicken leg! You're the chicken hawk."
Brian: "I didn't do what they say. I just want you to know that."
Michael: "You don't have to explain."
Michael hugs Brian and switches back to talk about high school and the band he and Brian were starting in Senior year: We were damn good! Hey...you still have that guitar?
7. Brian and Mikey rock! (19:42-20:33)
Meanwhile, David went to visit sick Debbie who, as we all know, isn't sick. Uh oh. Now he's on his way to Woody's, and... bingo. Michael and Brian are on stage, drinking and jamming and singing and fooling around, reliving their high school dream and having a good time.
Doc is not amused and leaves without even saying hello, tsk.
8. Brian helps out, no matter what (20:33-24:28)
Next morning, Melanie pays her new client a visit. She needs to go over a few things with Brian. But Brian has a bad hangover and isn't really in the mood.
However, he has no choice, so he just asks her to take it easy... gently. As on cue, Justin switches on a mixer. He's preparing some kind of... uhm, drink that looks as if it's been drunk already, at least once.
Justin: "Here, drink this. It's a secret recipe that my alcoholic grandmother used to make."
Brian: "Jesus, it smells like a dirty jockstrap."
Mel: "In that case, you should like it."
Now, Brian must be very desperate, for he really drinks this shit. Ewww.
Brian: "The secret is, she pissed in it."
Justin: "I'm just trying to help you. You know I'd do anything."
Mel: "Ah, Jesus, let's just pray the arbitrator's gay and thinks he's cute."
Suddenly, the door opens and Lindsay and Gus arrive. Uh oh. Tension, tension. Brian and Justin stay silent and just look at how Lindsay and Mel tiptoe around each other. And although I'm not a baby-person, Gus is sooooo cute in this scene, I just have to include a cap here:
And while I'm at it: some more suffering!Brian, because he's a man, after all, and don't we all know how they can suffer, eh?
Mel eventually leaves. Justin clues Lindsay in: He's majorly hung. And Brian adds, not to leave any doubt: And this time, he doesn't mean my cock. Hm. He and Lindsay talk a bit about Mel, and Brian suggests that maybe Lindsay got what she wanted, after all? Lindsay changes the topic and say she needs a sitter for Gus, now that Mel has gone and she'll have get back to work.
Justin: "I'll do it! I'm great with Gus."
Lindsay: "Oh, I'm sure... but I need someone full time."
Brian: "Justin, will you get my checkbook?"
Lindsay: "Are you sure? I mean, with what's going on..."
Brian: "It's not a problem. I said I'd look after you and Gus, and I am."
Brian hugs Lindsay and cuddles Gus while Justin looks at Brian's checkbook.
9. Haven't I seen you before? (25:31-27:33)
Woody's. Ted, Michael, Debbie, Vic and Justin are sitting at the bar. Debbie is angry with Michael because he lied to David (and David is pissed, too, he yelled at Michael in a previous scene). Ted is down because he met Emmett last night - with a woman. Yes, Emmett dating a girl from the See the Light-group. He's really trying to become straight.
Justin: "Yeah, but doesn't he know that every reputable psychological study done within the past twenty-five years emphatically states that a person's sexual orientation is determined by the age of six, sometimes even before birth. It's completely unalterable."
Sometimes, he's too smart for his own good:P
Justin's attention then quickly turns to something, or rather, someone else: it's OMG-we-hate-him all Kip Thomas. Justin walks over.
Justin: "Haven't I seen you before?"
Kip: "That's original. And the answer is no, I don't think so."
Justin: "No... it was the other night, at Babylon. I remember you."
Kip: "Well, I don't remember you."
10. The good doc. Only, not. (27:33-29:02)
Dr Dave, entering his office. And who's laying on the table other than Brian Kinney, blowing smoke rings. Ha!
Brian: "Working late, Doc?"
David: "Catching up with some paperwork. So I hear you have a problem."
Brian: "Yeah. I've got this pain in my ass."
David: "Maybe it's from over-exertion."
Brian: "Maybe it's you."
David: "So, how can I help alleviate your condition?"
Brian: "You can lay off Mikey."
David: "Well, my prescription for that would be for you to mind your own business."
Brian: "He is my business. And he's gonna be my business long after you're gone."
David: "I'm not going anywhere. Although I did hear that you may be on your way out."
Brian: "Who told you that?"
David: "Practically everyone. Although that's not our concern."
Brian: "Your better half thinks differently."
David: "I told my 'better half' to stay out of it."
Brian: "By forbidding him to see me. You know, that's not how you're gonna keep him. That's how you're gonna lose him. You know, Doc? You are good. The pain I was having is feeling better already."
Brian drops his cigarette into Dr David's coffee and leaves.
11. Asshole Kinney (31:30-32:40)
An alley off Liberty Avenue. Justin follows Kip.
Kip: "Oh, it's you again. You don't give up, do you?"
Justin: "Do you want me to?"
Kip: "Did you really see me before?"
Justin: "Sure! You were with that guy, Brian."
Kip: "How do you know him?"
Justin: "Everybody knows Brian Kinney. He's a real asshole."
Kip: "Oh, really?"
Justin: "Yeah... he's always coming onto you, acting like he likes you, really all he cares about is getting laid."
Kip: "How do you know? Did he break your heart?"
Justin: "Fuck, no! I'd never fall for his shit. Besides, he's not my type. Is he yours?"
Kip: "What, are you kidding? So what is your type?"
Justin chooses a non-verbal answer:
12. Taylor comes to the rescue (34:22-36:42)
Kip's place. He and Justin are getting down to business.
Kip: "You're a hot little fucker."
Justin: "You're pretty hot yourself."
Justin opens his shirt and Kip almost shrieks with joy when he sees the nipple ring.
Kip: "Oh yeah."
Justin: "Go on. Lick it....that's it. You're hotter than the guy I had last week."
Kip: "Is that so?"
Justin: "Mh-hm. He wanted to put me in short pants and spank me." *gurgles*
Kip: "I wanna do a lot more than that."
Justin: "Like what?"
Kip: "Like how about I show you?"
Kip moves and begins to blow Justin.
Justin: "You'd better hurry, though."
Kip: "What's the rush?"
Justin: "I got a stupid curfew, if you believe it. My parents want me home by midnight."
Kip: "You... you live with your parents?"
Justin: "Where else would I live? I'm seventeen."
Kip: "Seventeen. So, how do you get to bars?"
Justin: "D'oh! Like a fake I.D.? I don't tell my dad, though. He goes totally psycho. Like he did when he found out I was gay."
Kip: "Hm. Your... your dad went psycho?"
Justin: "He went after the guy I was fucking at the time. Turned him in to the police."
Kip: "The police?"
Justin: "He'll be out in ten years."
Kip blows Justin some more.
Justin: "If he knew I was here..."
Kip: "How would he know?"
Justin: "Oh, there's no way. Unless I told him."
Kip: "But... you wouldn't do that, would you?"
Justin: "Of course not. I would never do anything like that. Provided you do something for me."
Well, what can I say. Justin, making it all better for Brian...yet again.
13. Mr Teflon (36:42-38:01)
Mel and Brian at a conference table, waiting for the HR investigators.
Brian: "Listen, however this plays out, thanks. You didn't have to help me, you could have said 'Fuck you.'"
Mel: "I know."
Ryder enters, all business like, babbling about Brian's Liberty Air campaign.
Mel: "What about the hearing?"
Ryder: "Forget about the hearing, that matter's been dropped."
Brian: "What happened?"
Ryder: "Damned if I know, and who the hell cares? Be in my office in five minutes."
Mel: "Un-fucking-believable! Jesus, what are you, Mr Teflon? Shit just never sticks to you!"
Brian's shocked and surprised himself and only shrugs.
14. It's good to be gay! (45:22-47:58, end scene)
Brian and Justin dance. Brian picks up Justin's shirt.
Brian: "You're loosing your shirt."
Justin: "You almost lost yours."
Brian: "Oh yeah. I still have no idea why he dropped the suit."
Justin: "It's a mystery!"
Brian: "I guess I just have to be more careful who I fuck."
Justin: "Lucky for you, I turn eighteen tomorrow."
Brian: "What do you want for your birthday?"
What we all want:
Awww, happiness. And everyone else is happy, too. Emmett is back, he and his female date tried the het sex thing and decided being gay is the better choice for both of them. And now, everyone's dancing at Babylon. Except for Michael, who having his happy reunion with David at home.
And so I'll leave you with this general feeling of happiness and gayness everywhere.
End of episode.